I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember, watching the gate, holding the key. It never gets old. The looks of joy are beyond description. The kingdom is at hand and those blessed individuals that stand before me are at rest, and have earned a happiness that is forever. My heart leaps for each and every one. Any and all pain or suffering is gone.
My position is round the clock, even though there isn’t any clock. It is eternal and never slows. I never stop. I can handle more – much much more, but it doesn’t work that way. No matter the age nor the circumstance of how we have met one another, every person I encounter shines with an impenetrable glow.
The littlest ones among them are the most curious. They know perfectly well where they are and how they came to be here and yet their pure innocence cannot help but to wonder why. In the Psalms came the writing “from the mouths of babes.” They know more of their previous world – the world they never were allowed to experience, and still they share their thoughts and their questions. I cannot fault them for this, for they are without fault.
There are so many of them, I wonder what on Earth is going on – but I already know. In the simplest of terms, a gift was given by God to create a life and the gift was soon returned, unwanted or it didn't fit or it was poor timing; unimaginable. They don't wait for answers from me about their questions, they just need to express themselves before they enter, and I'm fine with that, but still they reminisce. In the past several hours, these are just a few of their thoughts: What’s it like when I no longer need training wheels and I can peddle free without restriction? I would have made a ramp one day with bricks and plywood, my legs pumping faster and faster, leaning forward while I grip the handlebars. I would have soared like an eagle.
What’s it like to put a worm on a hook at the end of a string on a stick and watch the bobber bobble up and down? The bluegill and sunfish are ravenous the entire day and I’ve ran out of bait. Then I would go in search of crickets or grasshoppers and continue until the sun sets.
What’s it like to have a puppy, uncoordinated and pudgy and furry, with its tongue slinging slobber while it chases me? We’d wrestle in the grass and I would teach it some tricks as we aged together. We’d also use each other as pillows for afternoon naps.
What’s it like to have a dollar bill in my hand as I’d stand next to the ice cream truck, looking at the picture posters attached to its side? The Cherry Bomb Pop is not in my budget, so I’d settle for an Ice Milk Bar covered in chocolate. I’d bite the corner off and it would crunch while it melts on my taste buds.
What’s it like to have a crush on the prettiest girl at school and asking a friend to see if she feels the same? I’d ask her go roller skating and then work up the nerve to hold her hand during the couples skate. I’d also have to wipe off my sweaty palm without her knowing.
What’s it like to sit on my father’s lap while he lets me steer, or lick the batter off the beater while my mother is making cookies?
What’s it like to get hugs from grandparents, excited and anxious every time they see me?
They all know their lives were ended too soon, and some of those lives were going to be extremely difficult but they wanted to have a chance anyway.
I pray for the madness to end.
In the meantime, the doors are open wide and they whisk past me. They are home.
